Building AWESOME into Family
If I was to use a word to describe the state of families around the United States...I would have to chose the word average. Let me explain. Average has become the new normal. You are among the "in-crowd" if you dress like, act like, drive like, play like, etc. the other families around you. Average in other words has become good.
Why have we changed our definition of what families should be or look like? Why has average become more than acceptable and become the pursuit for many families? In my opinion, average is easy...you simply do nothing.
God wants us to escape average when it comes to our families, when it comes to our marriages, when it comes to our heritage. Let's stop settling for average and let's move towards what can be...what is awesome.
So what does an awesome family look like? I wish I could just post a picture of my family and say "Here you go!" But that would prove to be just a little narcissistic. Truth be told...that question deserves an entire book dedicated to that very question. However, what I would like to do is suggest 5 ways or tools that every parent needs to consider to build awesome kids that become awesome adults. Here are those 5 tools:
1. Have a plan
What matters more to you...raising good kids or raising great adults? Make a plan that helps you determine the type of character you want your children to have? What is it going to take to instill this into there lives. How are you going to get there?
2. Invest where it matters most
Developing your kids character will take them further in life...then spending all your time on their athletic abilities. It will also take them further than their education.
Ask yourself this question - Would I rather have a person of great character as an adult or a very successful business person?
I am not saying that you can’t have both. But what you do need to do is decide which one is going to be a priority? One almost always trumps the other. When it comes to your investment - You reap what you sow. In other words, you will get what’s best from where you invest the most.
3. Lead with direction
One thing that always needs the attention of a parent is your child's "wanter." You know what I am talking about. That thing in all of us that says we need something when we really don't need something. That thing that says I want ice cream and never want to eat broccoli. As the primary care taker of a child you are also the primary shaper of your child's wanter.
And just so you know...it is ok to use the word "no." It doesn't mean you are a bad parent.
4. Be the right influence
There is a balance between directing and influencing. When it comes to parenting you direct early and influence later. As parents, we have an incredible power over the heart of our child. Make sure that you keep this in mind and don't push so hard that you lose their heart. You know you did well in this area when your adult child calls you and asks for your advice.
5. Be a great example
Yes, whether you like it or not you are a role model to your child and to other children. Your children are going to be models to the world as to how you parented. They are going to display what you displayed to them. If you want your children to have good character, work ethic, handle money responsibly, a great marriage…model it.
Why have we changed our definition of what families should be or look like? Why has average become more than acceptable and become the pursuit for many families? In my opinion, average is easy...you simply do nothing.
God wants us to escape average when it comes to our families, when it comes to our marriages, when it comes to our heritage. Let's stop settling for average and let's move towards what can be...what is awesome.
So what does an awesome family look like? I wish I could just post a picture of my family and say "Here you go!" But that would prove to be just a little narcissistic. Truth be told...that question deserves an entire book dedicated to that very question. However, what I would like to do is suggest 5 ways or tools that every parent needs to consider to build awesome kids that become awesome adults. Here are those 5 tools:
1. Have a plan
What matters more to you...raising good kids or raising great adults? Make a plan that helps you determine the type of character you want your children to have? What is it going to take to instill this into there lives. How are you going to get there?
2. Invest where it matters most
Developing your kids character will take them further in life...then spending all your time on their athletic abilities. It will also take them further than their education.
Ask yourself this question - Would I rather have a person of great character as an adult or a very successful business person?
I am not saying that you can’t have both. But what you do need to do is decide which one is going to be a priority? One almost always trumps the other. When it comes to your investment - You reap what you sow. In other words, you will get what’s best from where you invest the most.
3. Lead with direction
One thing that always needs the attention of a parent is your child's "wanter." You know what I am talking about. That thing in all of us that says we need something when we really don't need something. That thing that says I want ice cream and never want to eat broccoli. As the primary care taker of a child you are also the primary shaper of your child's wanter.
And just so you know...it is ok to use the word "no." It doesn't mean you are a bad parent.
4. Be the right influence
There is a balance between directing and influencing. When it comes to parenting you direct early and influence later. As parents, we have an incredible power over the heart of our child. Make sure that you keep this in mind and don't push so hard that you lose their heart. You know you did well in this area when your adult child calls you and asks for your advice.
5. Be a great example
Yes, whether you like it or not you are a role model to your child and to other children. Your children are going to be models to the world as to how you parented. They are going to display what you displayed to them. If you want your children to have good character, work ethic, handle money responsibly, a great marriage…model it.
Defining the Unchurched
In church circles it is easy to talk about "those" people. You know who I am talking about - the unchurched, irreligious, or the disenfranchised. It's as though there is an understood common meaning when talking about this group. However, without actually taking the time to define what that group looks like in your given community- you might actually be speaking a different language than the culture around you. Consider sitting your team down and taking some time to define the culture of the unchurched/irreligious of your community.
Last week I did that with our team and this is what we came up with:
Last week I did that with our team and this is what we came up with:
- Spiritual or open to spiritual things
- Skeptical about church and religious organizations
- Social media plays a huge part of their social connections
- Not a lot of deep relationships
- Many had some bad religious experiences in their past
- View church as irrelevant, boring, not for me, liturgical, old
- Continuous partial attention
- Options open
- Moralistic therapeutic deist
- Entertainment-driven
- Happiness-oriented
- Relativistic
- Apathetic or on the other extreme - wanting to do "good" - cause oriented
- Protective of time (selfish, self-interested)
- Love transparency while hating hypocrisy
- Acceptance = not judgmental - can't tell me I'm wrong
- Intelligent, educated, informed
- Well connected and networked due to technology- even on a surface level
- Identity shaped by pop culture, not so much by real relationships
- Demand Instant gratification
- Short attention spans
- Pragmatic
- Simplistic
- Demand high quality due to high expectations
What are you seeing? What defines the unchurch segment of your culture?
10 Disciplines that Can Change Your Life
Nothing great is ever achieved without discipline. And, the lack of discipline can also be a dangerous thing…
He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray. (Proverbs 5:23)
Below is a list of daily disciplines that have helped me. I am far from perfecting any of these disciplines, but they are disciplines that will help you overcome barriers in your life and help you continue down the path of building a great life.
1. Eliminate any entitlement mentality. (Achievement takes hard work)
2. Practice delayed gratification. (Do the hard work first so that you can enjoy the benefits later)
3. Wean yourself off the need to be entertained. (Entertainment can be a time thief)
4. Make your time work for you. (Keep a schedule and follow it)
5. Be on time. (Other people’s time is important too, being continuously late is a form of selfishness)
6. Do the hardest task first. (It is probably the most important)
7. See things to completion. (Often the greatest break throughs come at the finish line)
8. Volunteer. (Serving reminds you that life isn’t about you)
9. Make advance decisions about your life. (Thinking about the future can be a great motivator in the present)
10. Be honest. (Do things when you say you will do them. This will cause you to be disciplined in thought and commitments)